Am I the lone voice in my daughter’s ears telling her it’s okay if she doesn’t want to pursue an interest in STEM?

Out here in sunny, tech-obsessed California, girls’ leadership often equals STEM (Science. Technology. Engineering. Math). Many parents look to STEM as the singular solution to the gnarly and complex problem of getting their girls into leadership positions, and this view always seemed limiting to me.

Thankfully, two new studies run by Google show that in order to be successful in technology you don't need to be a technologist.

Women have a low tolerance for conflict with other women. It’s easier to just slap a label on it than to sort it out. Unfortunately, these terms are dehumanizing and imply that the girl or woman has an inherent character flaw.

“Mean Girl” does not describe a person every time there is an uncomfortable moment in a relationship. It’s a moment, not a person’s identity.

Here are some phrases we can say instead.

What I thought would be a conversation about social media and its detriments with my daughter (Not to worry, that blog post is coming in a few weeks!), turned into a curious conversation about decision making, time management, perfectionism, and the brain. 

Yes… they are all related in this case because it's our brains' fault. (Don't you love it when our shortcomings can be blamed on biology?!)

But why should we care?

An essential trait of leadership is being a decisive decision maker. We don't admire the clueless leader who waffles or is uncertain.  Therefore, we need to understand what is going on with our brain so we can take back control.  

And stop watching cat videos ...

The current debate about which job skills will be in demand in the near future has been filling many dinner conversations with friends and family lately. We all feel for our kids. With AI and technology changing so rapidly, it's a moving target. 

Here are a few experts' take on what our kids can "bank" on.

Bill Burnett and Dave Evans, authors of the book, Designing Your Life: How to Build a Well-Lived, Joyful Life, say, “Many people operate under the dysfunctional belief that they just need to find out what they are passionate about. Once they know their passion, everything else will somehow magically fall into place.”

William Damon, director of the Stanford Center on Adolescence, says that the reality is only one in five young people between twelve and twenty-six have a clear vision of where they want to go, what they want to accomplish in life, and why.

I personally think this is a realistic, if not healthy, statistic. Apparently, I’m in the minority.